The Possum Diaries

28 September 2014

The Possum Diaries

By Edwin Emery

Once upon a time, on the road between Waitaruke and Waimahana, there lived a whanau of brown possums. They would come out at dusk, onto the tar-sealed road. Here they would soak up the heat from the asphalt, as possums do.

Unbeknownst to this whanau ,hurtling down this road, toward them, was a white SUV. It came round a corner at a blistering pace. Bright shinning lights – ahhh! Jesus had come to save us – the possums thought. They all looked up & yelled out in unison : “Working Party!”, as the white SUV ran them over. The white SUV receded into the distance, the dying light caught the number plate :  ‘OTS’ !

Moral of the story :

Possum Rules

  1. Make up your mind what kind of possum you are, possums.
  2. You can scream as much as you like – those in the white SUV will never hear you.
  3. Study & learn the Road Code.
  4. The SUV, like your feet, gets you along the road – just faster.
  5. Control the Road & You will control Your Destiny & the Destiny of those in the SUV.

SUV Rules

  1. Never get out of the vehicle.
  2. If a possum is in your way – bowl it.
  3. Occasionally you may stop and let a possum in – they must know the password :“Uncle Tom”.
  4. Now & again throw your fast food scraps out the window. Some possums love it and say “Thank you, Bwana.”
  5. Remember – if you lose control of the road – you, in turn, will become a possum.

Leave a Reply